I coined the term “living by default” back in 1998 when I wrote this in my journal.

Life is a series of trips.

Back and forth,

to and fro,

here and there.

Sometimes I feel like I should go forth, fro, there,

but how come I find myself going back, to, here?

Answer: Because I am living by default.

 In my mind I have created these series of trips,

But then I realize that my mind is the ultimate trip…trippin me out all the time.

But it’s all good b/c it’s my journey & no one else’s.

It belongs to me & it represents something that amazes me like God amazes, like life amazes me.

Not in a loud, boisterous way, but a subtle, easy, warm way.

I sit back and smile (when I am not living by default) & enjoy the ride…

Back and forth,

to and fro,

here and there.

I coined the term to describe my existence as someone with all of their physiological functions in order. It meant that my life was possible only because I had a heart, lungs, a brain, nervous system, stomach, liver, and other body functions.

The dilemma was that while living by default was truly a gift from God, but if life had no meaning or purpose, it was a gift free from responsibility.

Simply put, living by default was an absolved life with no meaning, purpose, or direction.

At different points in my life, I wrestled with living by default. I didn’t feel good about myself. I became depressed, lazy, uncertain, bored, and uninterested. I’d go through life’s routine without motivation or determination. I rarely had a concern about anything bigger than myself. I merely existed by default.

On the other hand, when my life had meaning and purpose, I became a different person.  No matter what crazy turn of events came my way, I was able to overcome them because I had a purpose to fulfill and goals to accomplish.

One example of this was when I co-led God’s Beauty Shop, a bible study that I created for my church a few years ago.  During that time, I was experiencing a tumultuous time in my marriage, but God’s Beauty Shop gave my life meaning and a reason to push through the pain of my marriage.  I wasn’t living by default, and I felt confident, assured, strong, and hopeful.

Experience has taught me that a person who desires to push their ideas forward can’t if they’re living by default. They’re going to continue going back and forth, to and fro, and here and there.

Living by default has taught me three important lessons about myself. When I live by default, I don’t

#1. Have the desire to seek my purpose. I’m complacent, lazy, and full of excuses as to why I won’t live progressively.

#2. Hold myself accountable to live my purpose.

#3. Have the motivation for self-discovery or the inner work of the soul.

GoneGirlGo stands for pushing forward in life. If you are going to go, you have to push the desire to live by default out of the way.

Find your purpose and meaning in life.

Tell someone that you trust about your purpose so that they can help you remain accountable for moving in it.

And when you find it, do the inner work that is required so that you don’t get in the way of going forward.

Life really is a series of trips, but at least while we are on the journey, let’s leave behind a legacy of impact.

Now you’ve have read my description of living by default, I’m curious to know how you make meaning of the concept. What experiences can you share that illustrate the point – refuse to live by default? What lessons have you learned? Please share your thoughts in the comments or on Facebook, or email me at zoe@gonegirlgo.com.