It was hard for me to admit that I was a procrastinator. I didn’t want the issue to be my behavior. I wanted to blame time, although it was never the issue.
You see, I’ve had the same amount of time as everybody else. And lots of people on the planet have been making their ideas happen since like forever!
I slowly came to realize that the issue was me and not time. It was my inability to deal with tasks (and issues) that I considered way too difficult. I had no problem tackling tasks that were natural and easy for me. It was the hard stuff that I tended to avoid, and then I’d wait until the very last moment to start tackling them.
Girl, let me break it down.
When I first started GoneGirlGo, I kept putting off this one task because it seemed so daunting and difficult. I didn’t think that I could figure it out so I avoided it.
Although the consequences of being a procrastinator were self-inflicted, they were real. Loss of sleep. Undue stress. Guilt. Worry. Anxiety. (Girl, bye! Ain’t nobody got time for that!)
The time finally came for me to take care of it. My back was against the wall. If I didn’t do it, then the big picture of what I wanted to accomplish wasn’t going to happen. I had reached the moment of truth. I took a deep breath and dove in. I wrestled with the task and yes, those self-inflicted consequences too.
Even with all that suffering and hard work, I got it done, but realized that I had to change being a procrastinator because it was not working, especially because I was declaring GoneGirlGo as my forward movement. (And those consequences were annoying me.)
Fast forward to the present.
I’m better, but not completely cured. I do consider myself somewhat reformed.
When faced with a difficult task or issue that my first inclination is to avoid, I’ve learned to do these things.
(Disclaimer: not in order, not all the time, and not at the same time necessarily.)
🌺Have a conversation with myself to pinpoint the reason for putting off the hard stuff.
Me: “Girl, why are you putting this thing off?”
Me: “Uh because it is hard. I’m not sure where to start. And I don’t have the wherewithal to figure it out.”
Me: “Zoe, so what do you need to do to alleviate the difficulty and gain the wherewithal?”
Me: Hmmm?
(And so the conversation continues with myself until the matter within is resolved.)
🌺Refuse to bite off more than I’m capable of chewing, especially if I have something difficult to accomplish.
I cannot, absolutely cannot allow too many things to fill my plate. I must be a ninja about what I decide to put on my plate and ask myself:
- Does it align with my purpose?
- Will it add value to my life?
- Is it a priority?
- Would I lose anything if I don’t do it?
It’s this simple. When I have too much to do, overwhelm gets in the driver’s seat and I climb in the back. I avoid. I lose focus. I become de-motivated. And girl, you know these behaviors don’t complement procrastination at all!
Avoidance, loss of focus, de-motivation co-mingled with procrastination become an inner beast that takes on a life of its own. 😩
🌺Share my concerns with someone I trust.
When I let my trusted advisor in on my struggle, all bets are off of the table. I now have someone who can call me on the carpet when I fall short. Ultimately, completing the task is my responsibility and I don’t have to answer to anyone for doing it but myself, but having her is the extra reinforcement that I need to be motivated to complete the task as well as change my ways.
It helps to be clear with her about what type of support I need and to check in with her regularly. I also realize that transparency and honesty are essential. Not being honest with her is only lying to myself.
🌺Schedule tasks and appointments to actually do them.
I set up tasks on my Google calendar so that I can map out what I need to do and by when. And for extra reinforcement , I schedule appointments with alerts to remind me to actually work on the task. My Google account is hooked up to my mobile device so that I get the alerts while I’m on the move.
🌺Manage my time better.
I had to stop myself from spending significant amounts of time doing stuff like scrolling through Facebook or checking my email. What I learned to do was set aside short amounts of time to do these things so that they wouldn’t dominate the time I needed to work on the hard tasks. When I’m particularly good at tackling the hard stuff, I practice the Pomodoro Technique, in which I work for 25 minutes on a task then take a short 3-5 minute break. I repeat this until the task is done.
I get that being a procrastinator may not be your issue. Our inner-work is, of course, different. But just maybe you’re the girlfriend who’s the trusted advisor. Here’s some insight for you to consider if you’re ever asked to hold your girl accountable.
The bottom line, regardless of why you procrastinate and regardless of your inner-work, you gotta do it because you’re on the threshold of making your ideas blossom. And let me add. This inner-work doesn’t stop, even when you’re blooming and your ideas are too.
If you’re going to change, you’ve got to do something about it. So my question to you is, what are you going to do? Have a conversation with yourself? Be a ninja about what you decide to put on your plate? Find a trusted advisor and entrust your concerns to her? Be a trusted advisor to a procrastinator? Use tools like Google calendar or the Pomordoro technique to map it out and manage your time better?
Girl, don’t be shy now.
- Write a comment below or share your comment on the GoneGirlGo Facebook page.
- For a more private exchange, email me at zoe@gonegirlgo.com.
- For a private reflection, spend time journaling about this topic this week.
I think the image up top about sums it up. When you procrastinate you stand in the way of yourself. So many more opportunities and possibilities are waiting for you, but when you procrastinate, you may miss out. And what you may miss out on may be just what you need. You owe it to yourself to stop doing that.
What a helpful blog. It’s good to know I am not alone in my highly developed skill at procrastination. For me, I fight the idea of being disciplined – like punished or controlled (even though it’s just me doing the controlling). It helped me to learn that in discipline comes freedom. This was huge for me. Routines, schedules, organization – all the things that mean Discipline to me actually create freedom instead of the chaos of procrastination and random disorganization. I hope that all makes sense! Your blog brought that all back and I needed both today. Thanks!
Thank Karen and yes everything you said makes sense! I’m glad that you found this post helpful. And no…you aren’t alone in your highly developed skill at procrastination – LOL!
It’s funny how all those things you named – routine, schedules, and organization require work, discipline, and intentionality so that we can experience freedom. I never thought of it like that. Maybe we’ll be reformed even more if we remember to think about the consequences of routine, schedules, and organization — freedom!
Love you much and thanks for sharing!
Zoe
Thank Karen and yes everything you said makes sense! I’m glad that you found this post helpful. And no…you aren’t alone in your highly developed skill at procrastination – LOL!
It’s funny how all those things you named – routine, schedules, and organization require work, discipline, and intentionality so that we can experience freedom. I never thought of it like that. Maybe we’ll be reformed even more if we remember to think about the consequences of routine, schedules, and organization — freedom!
Love you much and thanks for sharing!
Zoe
I resonate so strongly with the consequences of procrastination; lack of sleep, anxiety, guilt. Not worth it, that’s for sure. When I do sit down to accomplish the task I have been putting off, I usually find that my anxiety about not knowing how, or being not good enough, or not capable enough were all in my head. What really works for me is to dive in… even if it is in the middle of the night when the procrastination has kept me awake. If I tackle what is bugging me, I sleep so much more soundly.
I had an example of that last week. I was putting off writing the chapters I intended to finish in my as yet unwritten book, and used all kinds of excuses and other activities to avoid it. One night, I just could not get the ideas out of my spinning head, so I got up at 11:30 (yes, I know, many of you will not yet be in bed by that time.) and wrote until 5:45 AM. I was so energized by the process of the “brain dump” that I accomplished 3 and a half chapters that night. The funny thing is, I have slept through the night without waking since that time. Good learning for me.
I love the concept of being a ninja about what I put on my plate… and the Pomodoro technique. I had not heard of that one before, and will use it to keep myself focused.
Great blog topic! Glad you did not procrastinate on this one.
Hey Kathy! Maybe if we think about the consequences more, we won’t be prone to procrastinate. And it sounds like you got a handle on procrastination…good for you! I like how you dove right in and got it done. That’s an incredible metaphor that I’m picturing in my head now. Thanks for surfacing that for me.
I’m curious – what type of book are you writing?
Hi Zoe,
Great article! I also LOVE how your site looks….So cute & girly:-)
I can definitely relate to this issue, pretty much on ALL levels:-)
Thankfully, I have finally started to break out of my own rut, by publishing a few children’s books on Amazon
that I had been sitting on, “Beautiful Boy” & “Beautiful Girl”. However, once I started, I realized WHY I kept putting it off!
And like you, I had to continue to “chat” with myself until I came to the place in which I could not hold off any longer.
I’m so glad that you’re letting your talent “shine” for the world to see…and that we get to share the journey:-)
What’s going on Jenita!?!
Thank you for your kinds words! I love my site too, especially since I upgraded it. The previous version was so 2012 – LOL!
I’m glad that you can relate and super glad to know that you didn’t stay in that rut. Do me a favor and share link to your children’s books. I’d like to check them out.
And thanks for reassuring me that I’m not the only one who has chats with themselves.
Take care, girl
Zoe
Hi Zoe,
Sorry, for just responding now, but as you know life can easily get hectic 🙂
Thank you for asking for my book link! I have included it below…
https://www.amazon.com/author/jlhunt
Zoe, love your blog and site! Keep up the good work – all ladies need it. We’re a tribe and must have each other’s backs. We have so much to learn from each other. I hope you don’t mind, I shared your site and some of your wisdom on Linkedin. I’ve been sharing and encouraging my daughter and my girlfriends to find their fire and make it happen.
Thank you Christine for all the love!!! And I’m determined to keep pace with blogging. It can be a little daunting, but I’m up for the challenge…finally!
I’m glad that you shared it with others, especially those daughters of ours. They need to see us doing our thing so that we can make pathways for them. And there’s so much that we can learn from them. I’m planning to include my daughters on the blog at some time soon so stay tuned!!
Zoe
Zoe,
I hear you. I have written my entire life but wouldn’t finish anything. The “idea of creating” was exciting but the difficulty of finishing was downright constipating. Finally one day I just got tired of myself and my excuses. I set a goal and finished a book near and dear to my heart. I stopped saying “I Can’t” and did and a publisher picked it up and my memoir; The Princess Rancher, was released in November. I have been blogging for over a year and have more plans but the key is to start. Once you get over the fear of starting it is easier to continue and now i set goals for myself so that I don’t get caught up in any more procrastination. Procrastination is really just fear. Keep up the good work girls! Kelly
Kelly – I agree. The key is to start. And really, why do we fear things that won’t do us harm? I’m excited about the Princess Rancher. Can you send me a link to it and your blog? I’m curious about it since you mentioned it!!
Thanks for leaving your comment and I look forward to hearing more from you.
Zoe